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Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
But at least it makes me
I can’t feel my toes and at first I think
It’s just my toes.
I can cover them up.
I can warm them.
It spreads, like fire,
I glance away for a second, it seems, and my feet are cold
That’s funny, I didn’t feel that
Maybe I’ll cover them up too
I’ll warm them up.
I’ll take a nap
Maybe a short rest will make it all better, warm them
What’s that? How long has it been?
My legs… are you still mine..
Why has my breath left me, short?
Has everything but deserted me?
What about you, are you still here?
Are you still with me?
And before I can say goodbye, I think my thoughts are leaving me too –
Sleeping Beautyshe’s in love with a character who
never existed but in the labyrinth of her head:
a patchwork composition of beautiful, lengthy words
she’d heard in her catatonic state; coma living
day in and day out, reliant on the salvation
of a man made of foreign wishing
and imperfection and necessity – an ignorance
of the less than ideal perception of self she’d
come to fear, absention stained romantic to the point
where daydreams were a standard for survival
(real living is for the purposeful of heart,
he loves her in her sleep)
RelapseIt’s like counting
along your limbs -
remembering a time
‘just one more’
made you feel better.
- & you’re sitting there
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s
We fight for our dream.
We're just waiting to die.
The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.
The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.
So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?
Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?
Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"
She does not have,
She has many of them.
A million shields,
a million personalities,
She's always changing,
to fit every person around her.
If one were to ask why,
she would answer with,
I will never reveal my weaknesses,
because she's evil.
She hates everyone,
stupider than her is barely tolerable,
smarter than her is too scary,
She hates it all.
She leaves the world behind,
To one she has dreamt of,
she will smile,
because she is truly happy alone.
She is not evil,
She does not hate you,
She is not dishonest,
She simply wants to be alone.
We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.
It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.
We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.
There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so
wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.
she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"
in that moment,
we forget to exist.
lifelinesI fear the sound of sparrows
and the density of leaves
against dew-muffled blades
and I'm drowning
in the sky.
My skin has learned how
to peel itself off
without causing a commotion
in my marrows or
even show the slightest hint
and my heart has learned how
to hush the stars in their wake
and keep it all a secret.
There's a sea in my mouth
and I can't swim.
There are lifelines
cast like these and it will
all end with the same tragedy.
Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.
In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.
There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop
of seafoam thronesFrom Atlas’ hands she wept to me,
atop Africas and South Atlantics;
this is one situation unaffected by
ember eyes and windy lashes
(it has no anatomy).
You are sparrows stranded
in tiny crevices and cliffside love,
though you rebuke flight
in the fear of chipping feathers.
So what do you do?
You reach for my soul,
coveting flight with shaking
and perhaps I’ll let you:
With flytrap lips and
glass shaped hips…
you are unfit for anything but
(But beauty isn’t everything)
Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.
But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.
That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.
But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.
No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.
So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.
PerfectEver had the feeling where you can't stop looking at a picture?
Your gorgeous face makes me smile
Go weak at the knees
Makes me giggle like a little girl
Those morning texts
All day conversations
Random silly things like that
Make me smile
I see the led light flash the colours I've set for when I get a message from you
My heart flutters
My cheeks flush
I go deaf to the world when I'm reading a message from you
If your down
I'm always there for you
I know you don't want to worry me
I know you want me to smile
But I'm always here for you
No matter how you feel
I'd prefer to help
Than for you to be down
Your gorgeous eyes
With This RingWith this ring,
I swear to keep myself pure.
To not give myself away until the night of my marriage,
To the one whom God has chosen for me.
With this ring,
I swear to avoid the temptations
That may lead me astray
And defile me.
With this ring
I swear to not only keep my body pure,
But to keep pure my mind.
To not think perverted thoughts,
To not corrupt myself from within.
With this ring,
I swear that all of what I am will be pure
For he who is to be my husband.
BlueAloft is my my mind lead by my ears drifting on your sound.
A world of blue flowing all around, your voice flowing like water so sweet as i drown.
Lost on your rift and bass the sounds of the echos of trembel shaking the place.
dancing on blue winds as i surf the crowds my ears hungering for more as i scream to join the roar my pulse begins to race.
This beautiful blue marvle ,this beautiful blue place soaring to life around me as you sing, your lyrics the wind beanthe my wing.
As i float on such blue currents that pure blue world music you bring.
To lift my ears as those do to you voice and hue .
every time i hear you all i dream is
I AM A JOKE SO GO AHEAD AND LAUGHMY minds a puzzel even i cant solve.
My heart is a problem i cant resolve
I wish i was modern like a new age man I wish i could evolve.
Thats to bad I am hopless romantic on this this tragic path never to end only to revolve.
This poor heart of glass and soul of paper wet with my tears only to disolve.
I was a fool to think that in love myself I could involve
The Beauty of Being Who You AreOne may search for their true self and it may take years but, when they succeed they are content .
They are content because they understand that by no strech of the imagination are they perfect which makes them exceptant and exceptional.
For it is those who know they are life they may even take life but they are who they are beautiful and imperfect or more likely beautifly imperfect without a thing in such short life to resent .
This is because we are all the same created of the same flesh and the same blood in the same image for the farmer the poet the warrior are all the same,senseational.
The warrior who lives by his sword as the poet
Do I Feelwhy is it i breath to what purpose do i owe such meek thoght ?
well lest my mind betray my heart in a question to you i depart:
Why do i love? and if i not love do i not exist, for certin it is that we all love in some form or another.So let me ask you brother,sister friend or foe ,have we not all been smitten by cuppids divine arrow, that that seeps ever so into the breast till at last your heart it find?
For i konow not of any other sweet sorrow that make the strongest of men weak .
Even I, Esspecialy I long for such love ,the inoccent's of my true turtle dove.
Yet restless am I to remove such a dagger frome my side that silnce my hear
Bitter Sweetoh ,how it grives my heart to be so far apart, for endless joy doust bring.
your tender love that give my heart wing, thou who's beauty shame the spring.
Alas, thou't not knowest my deepest heart though to your love no stranger am I.
i count not the many tears that i cry i count ot the days,nor the moons that pass me by.
with joy such sweet sorrows fill my heart as you dream of true loves bliss and i of your tender touch though you think of i not such. know that i love you always as iternal as the earth and sky. Not a moment passes that i curse my weak my burdened tounge kowing your heart no prize to be won , but to be loved ,oh such joy
Beautifulyou are beautiful, but not because your eyes shine like stars.
you are beautiful, but not because you smile can heal all my scars.
you are beautiful, but not because you have a heart of gold.
you are beautiful, but not because you inspier the great and bold.
you are beautiful, but not because minutes in your embrace make me wish it were hours.
you are beautiful, but not because you smell of lilly flowers.
you are beautiful, but not because you bring people together from near and far.
you are beautiful, becauuse of all these things but what makes you the most beautiful is who you are.
Reflection In The MirrorThough loneliness is nothing like the self.
The self is far more dark than what is felt.
Best to place it on the highest shelf.
If what is there is false it be a pelt .
I have but to shed this pelt to find myself.
But no such fault is my own it to me keep.
And in time is there more trials of the self .
Than in the fruits of labor one reap.
I live to learn yet what must be known now.
That emotion and control a mirror.
I but the reflection yet to now how .
Myself incomplete when filled with black fear .
And yet in still i think that faith may steer.
As any other lost in self i stand here.
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`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More