[x]

RelapseIt’s like counting
Saturn’s rings,
hash marks
along your limbs -
remembering a time
when

‘just one more’

made you feel better.

- & you’re sitting there
wondering why
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s

falling.

Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
Maybe.
But at least it makes me
Me.

UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"

Battle in my MindEat.
Don't eat.
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
You're perfect.
You're worthless.
You're beautiful.
You're disgusting.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
Show me.
No!
I love you..

WorthlessWorthless,
the name that cuts like a knife,
Me,
it's all that you see inside,
My heart,
is breaking with every breath I take
The lies,
the only thing I can't seem to face.

In The Daylight

In The Daylight

A false downfall
An unexpected revival

Sunset to moonset
Shining through darkness

Life...redefined
Death...redesigned

In the valley of promises- I will fear no end
On the brink of weakness- I will ascend
-
Roads of the toughest
Paths of the darkest

I conditioned my flawed limits
So fearful memories won't be paralytic

I had to raise my own spirit
Strength and endurance become so vivid

A chance for change / A moment of fate
A time to make peace / A brief feeling of creed
A sealing of my slate / A silencing of my mistakes
A secret ready to be freed / A chain soon-to-be incomplete

Pain and peace are infinite
Judge the wrat

wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.

she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"

in that moment,
we forget to exist.

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

Ode to the boy with diamonds for eyesI think we were a collision course waiting to happen
And when I think back to the day when we first
Stumbled across one another, red sneakers hanging off gutters
Cherry cola voice overs and dilated pupils
We led one another on to believe in the night sky of connect the dot constellations

You wanted to dissect me and peer into the insides of my lungs
Only to find witches breath and dandelions
Slicing iron vowels you locked your hands in mine
And we fell into the static of dreaming disease
The operating table broke away to reveal a sky that never existed
And we couldn't help but laugh at the irony
Because wishing was never an option
The ane

Our MasksThe masks we wear are perfect
Never loose and rarely tight
They keep us safe from others
And keep our demons out of sight

They smile when we are broken
And laugh when we simply must
No blemish or imperfection
A creation that will never rust.

I seldom ever remember
Who I am without my mask
That to peel off that layer
Is such a daunting task

All others carry one as well
Wherever they may go
And no matter what is on their minds
Only the molded mask will show.

The lies they preach in public
Or the scars along their wrists
Are left mute to others knowledge
Ignorance is such a splendid gift

My mask is oh so perfect
Not a crack will show
Alway

Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.

LonelyLonely.
Unnoticed.
People don't even look
when they walk by.
Always ignored...
Nobody even asks my ideas,
my opinion.
Nobody even knows
who I am.
When people see me,
they either ignore me,
or ask a question:
"Who are you?"
But they don't even bother
to listen to my response:
"I'm Canada."
Forgotton.
Forgotton by everyone.
Forgotton by my friends, my allies.
Maybe one day
Someone will remember my name.
Canada.

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

Honesty Written

from the

heart.

No eraser.

Lost In ConfusionLost In Confusion

My mind is spinning without a rest
Emotions whirl and twirl around
A merry-go-round gaining speed
Until the world blurrs before my eyes
What's happening? What's going on?

The simplest thought slips away
Right from my mind, fading so fast
Trying to focus, I stare and stare
Until my eyes are heavy and unclear.
I don't understand, what is going on..

Emotions rise and fall again
Within the blink of an eye
I'm crying, laughing, and depressed
A roller-coaster ride that never ends
Am I losing my mind in this?

I try to close my eyes and rest
But the world spins me around
I feel like I am failing this test
Voices and noises echo

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AM I Ok OR Just FineI sit there in the shadows of the things around me wishing softly for a dream better still a sign.

Yet, only silence comes, I feel like I could scream and no one would hear me but of course this cannot be I have to be ok I must be fine.

Though that’s just it right? I am like an actor stuck in a failure role no not a role, a loop though I struggle at times with my lines like the writer with his pen so elaborate, so scheming and yet graceful that the reader sees not through the plot.

So too am I the actor who’s words are so well lifted that the audience around me fall short in seeing that this is just an act like an act of reveng

The Truth Is....The truth is life is full of complications and struggles it gives you kisses one moment and the next fills your heart with troubles.

Truthfuly, most days I am filled with doubt lost in trenches with no way out with no shovle,no bucket or even a pale most days I am reminded of how much my efforts fail.

Short I thought however to find In truth of love someone who gives me such divine hope willing me never to settle or to cope.

three simple trsures ,remind me still to brush my cheek and steel my wil against all odds my heart remains yet here to fill

with these your gifts of strength ,hope and love there is no challenge to grate to rise above

The most amazing gift everMy hand gently placed in yours,
Eyes looking deep into my heart.
I can never seem to hide,
For your sunshine penetrates
To the darkest corner of my soul.

Our feet step together,
In an endless dance of forever.
Lips close to touching,
Eyes at the same level,
Bodies accidentally touching.

But the music plays on,
Engulfing us in its beauty.
Swallowing us in its embrace.
Not letting our hearts go,
Keeping them entertwined.

Never will our song stop playing,
For we both know that
We were made for
One another
Forever in an endless dance.

..

Driffting through RealityLife is a gift that we are livin.
The choices we make are not a givin.
In fact,they are taken, for granted.

In the simplest form our chocies difine us
the choces we make tell,us
our choices are us.

We all live,we all laugh and we all love.
we all cry ,we all die in time but our choices echo our life in memory in soul in love.
The taste of our first kiss the bliss of a hug the true beauty of love finding balance of enough.
Our hands warm in the cold the courage of our hearts bold as we move to purpose through pen through sword as truth unfold.
As the means justifiy the ends of our storys yet untold.

As time ends ans wounds mend our

Time spans no distance in loveOh, of such bitter lasting torment for such joys my soul should lack for if joy be a friend should I not know his face and of natures gift of such beauty and charm filling heart and mind alike to light such kindred spirits as love of we retched souls and women. For know I not nor shall I not till such time as the grin be striped of your face, o pious time for it is thee who separate my heart from love so true. Not land nor sea nor rain not storm nor wind or flame but thee. Sir time be ever you so gracious as to lend your ear so that I may be free to place my unworthy lips upon such pure a rose as my fair maid's cheek. For be you so kind that

Here's to youWhat is there to say you of such gentle heart and of voice that is soft spoken, you whose will may bend but never broken, here is to you.

You who's grace, is so subtle that you have yet to notice it, you who's beauty is so pure that you need not boast it, heres to you.

You to whom your friends stay true above and beyond the call, who's the saving grace of many, a lost soul to catch them when they fall, heres to you.

You who's as sweet in heart as you are in thought, to you who comfort and council are always sought here's to you.

Here is to you my most beloved friend whose heart is as welcoming as your embrace.

Once more to you, who of su

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I AM A JOKE SO GO AHEAD AND LAUGH

by ~dances-with-penciles, Nov 20, 2011, 1:49:45 AM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

MY minds a puzzel even i cant solve.
My heart is a problem i cant resolve
I wish i was modern like a new age man I wish i could evolve.
Thats to bad I am hopless romantic on this this tragic path never to end only to revolve.
This poor heart of glass and soul of paper wet with my tears only to disolve.
I was a fool to think that in love myself I could involve

I AM A JOKE SO GO AHEAD AND LAUGHby ~dances-with-penciles

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

What a puzzel i thought as my brain screamed this at me and my heart telling my brain to shut up and stop using logic
wow what am I to do

~UnleashedHeathen Nov 20, 2011 Hobbyist General Artist

I like it.
What's going on?

~dances-with-penciles Nov 20, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

I was argueing with my self and this is a result though im fine i am a bit confused because my logic and desier are self contridicting so, tht title stuck because my mind was yellin this in my ear and my heart was saying something else

~UnleashedHeathen Nov 20, 2011 Hobbyist General Artist

Cool.

Glad you solved the problem.

~dances-with-penciles Nov 20, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

i cant i have done what i can the rest lies with her

*kelizzy Nov 20, 2011 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

That title is troubling me

I hope that's not how you really feel, is it? Your expression is so...i don't know 'raw' if that's the right word. Beautiful and emotional.

~dances-with-penciles Nov 20, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

The title stuck because i was having a conflic with myself as to why my desier nd logic never agree and it was driving me mad with the thought that i am never able to do right in matters of the heart and yet i continue to persue the heart of someone i care for with no clue as to how she feels even after i asked her directly andso from there i dont know what to do

*kelizzy Nov 20, 2011 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

Oh my! I see. Love eh?

~dances-with-penciles Nov 20, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

very much so

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I AM A JOKE SO GO AHEAD AND LAUGH

I AM A JOKE SO GO AHEAD AND LAUGHby ~dances-with-penciles

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