[x]

RelapseIt’s like counting
Saturn’s rings,
hash marks
along your limbs -
remembering a time
when

‘just one more’

made you feel better.

- & you’re sitting there
wondering why
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s

falling.

Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
Maybe.
But at least it makes me
Me.

UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"

WorthlessWorthless,
the name that cuts like a knife,
Me,
it's all that you see inside,
My heart,
is breaking with every breath I take
The lies,
the only thing I can't seem to face.

In The Daylight

In The Daylight

A false downfall
An unexpected revival

Sunset to moonset
Shining through darkness

Life...redefined
Death...redesigned

In the valley of promises- I will fear no end
On the brink of weakness- I will ascend
-
Roads of the toughest
Paths of the darkest

I conditioned my flawed limits
So fearful memories won't be paralytic

I had to raise my own spirit
Strength and endurance become so vivid

A chance for change / A moment of fate
A time to make peace / A brief feeling of creed
A sealing of my slate / A silencing of my mistakes
A secret ready to be freed / A chain soon-to-be incomplete

Pain and peace are infinite
Judge the wrat

Battle in my MindEat.
Don't eat.
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
You're perfect.
You're worthless.
You're beautiful.
You're disgusting.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
Show me.
No!
I love you..

wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.

she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"

in that moment,
we forget to exist.

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

Our MasksThe masks we wear are perfect
Never loose and rarely tight
They keep us safe from others
And keep our demons out of sight

They smile when we are broken
And laugh when we simply must
No blemish or imperfection
A creation that will never rust.

I seldom ever remember
Who I am without my mask
That to peel off that layer
Is such a daunting task

All others carry one as well
Wherever they may go
And no matter what is on their minds
Only the molded mask will show.

The lies they preach in public
Or the scars along their wrists
Are left mute to others knowledge
Ignorance is such a splendid gift

My mask is oh so perfect
Not a crack will show
Alway

LonelyLonely.
Unnoticed.
People don't even look
when they walk by.
Always ignored...
Nobody even asks my ideas,
my opinion.
Nobody even knows
who I am.
When people see me,
they either ignore me,
or ask a question:
"Who are you?"
But they don't even bother
to listen to my response:
"I'm Canada."
Forgotton.
Forgotton by everyone.
Forgotton by my friends, my allies.
Maybe one day
Someone will remember my name.
Canada.

Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

Honesty Written

from the

heart.

No eraser.

Ode to the boy with diamonds for eyesI think we were a collision course waiting to happen
And when I think back to the day when we first
Stumbled across one another, red sneakers hanging off gutters
Cherry cola voice overs and dilated pupils
We led one another on to believe in the night sky of connect the dot constellations

You wanted to dissect me and peer into the insides of my lungs
Only to find witches breath and dandelions
Slicing iron vowels you locked your hands in mine
And we fell into the static of dreaming disease
The operating table broke away to reveal a sky that never existed
And we couldn't help but laugh at the irony
Because wishing was never an option
The ane

PerfectEver had the feeling where you can't stop looking at a picture?
Your gorgeous face makes me smile
Go weak at the knees
Makes me giggle like a little girl

Those morning texts
All day conversations
Random silly things like that
Make me smile

I see the led light flash the colours I've set for when I get a message from you
My heart flutters
My cheeks flush
I go deaf to the world when I'm reading a message from you

If your down
I'm always there for you
I know you don't want to worry me
I know you want me to smile
But I'm always here for you
No matter how you feel
I'd prefer to help
Than for you to be down

Your gorgeous eyes
Are mesmerising
You

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Beautifulyou are beautiful, but not because your eyes shine like stars.
you are beautiful, but not because you smile can heal all my scars.

you are beautiful, but not because you have a heart of gold.
you are beautiful, but not because you inspier the great and bold.

you are beautiful, but not because minutes in your embrace make me wish it were hours.
you are beautiful, but not because you smell of lilly flowers.

you are beautiful, but not because you bring people together from near and far.
you are beautiful, becauuse of all these things but what makes you the most beautiful is who you are.

agmine fratrum, milites rei publicaeAs your lie in redend sand your lifeless body fills my hands as i long for my brothers embrace.
know that by this crest, in my heart no one shal fill your place.

Onward we march, overcoming the challenges with which we are faced continuing on by juno's grace.
Forword we march, By Jupiters thunder and lightnig pace.

Shoulder to shoulder we march, we the brothers of the 13th sons of the lion roar after the gauls we chase.
Let us live on in your hearts in legends place.

For Rome ,for her people, my countrymen and friends let the halls of time speak of the sons of the republic Ceasar's Legio XIII.

-Steven Michael Santana

Reflection In The MirrorThough loneliness is nothing like the self.

The self is far more dark than what is felt.

Best to place it on the highest shelf.

If what is there is false it be a pelt .

I have but to shed this pelt to find myself.

But no such fault is my own it to me keep.

And in time is there more trials of the self .

Than in the fruits of labor one reap.

I live to learn yet what must be known now.

That emotion and control a mirror.

I but the reflection yet to now how .

Myself incomplete when filled with black fear .

And yet in still i think that faith may steer.

As any other lost in self i stand here.

The Poets Wishit is said the eyes are the windows to the soul and a poets soul flows through his pen onto paper and that it is his dream that his work be taken in by the eye and dawn unto the hearts of his readers so that they feel as he does and see as he sees but if his spirit fades and his eyes fog does his pen work? and if yes then where might he find more ink?

HEARTS AND SOULS LIKE BROKEN GLASS My heart weeps as tears flow down my cheeks my lips trembeling to touch yours my my hands scared and bare as i claw to cling to your memory as i slip farther and from yours.

I know i am not beautiful, i know im not strong and i am not brave but just like all men love and passion make me a slave.

All the while its all the same here ind my mind and body but not my soul who screams to show you all that i am and all that i can be behind these locked doors.

Oh , but who am i to wish to hope,a naiv oh but to be your naiv.

To say that i could be of any worth ,any value ,any use would be a lie.

For i but a man with not but my heart, hands and

Ode to AtlasAtlas was bound by chains and forced to bare the weight of the sky for his betrayland yet, have i wronged you ? Have i ever let my intentions hurt you or my pride belittle you?Yet you have harmed me and bound me in chains ,the chains of opression and forced me to bare the weigth of your anger at times it is so great that atlas could not hold

and i can do nothing nor can anyone else for these chains are stronger than steal and yet invisble like the wind so i sit here. I sit here alone sttruggleing in the dark waiting for this burrden to be liffted and for someone to look upon me with compassion and guideance to lead me home to a place where i

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Here's to you

by ~dances-with-penciles, Feb 16, 2012, 11:09:26 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

What is there to say you of such gentle heart and of voice that is soft spoken, you whose will may bend but never broken, here is to you.

You who's grace, is so subtle that you have yet to notice it, you who's beauty is so pure that you need not boast it, heres to you.

You to whom your friends stay true above and beyond the call, who's the saving grace of many, a lost soul to catch them when they fall, heres to you.

You who's as sweet in heart as you are in thought, to you who comfort and council are always sought here's to you.

Here is to you my most beloved friend whose heart is as welcoming as your embrace.

Once more to you, who of such beauty and sweet sorrow alone know my pain and the story of my life your best friend I will always be, to you I owe my life

Here's to youby ~dances-with-penciles

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

To my best friend

~UnleashedHeathen Feb 16, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Lovely poem.

~dances-with-penciles Feb 17, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

thank you very much

~jochannon Feb 16, 2012

If you ever want to get published, look me up: [link]

~dances-with-penciles Feb 17, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

so how offten do you bublish and do you have any distinctive audiances or is it everyone?

~jochannon Feb 17, 2012

I publish 4/5 pieces every Sunday(if I'm not running late) I wouldn't say I have a 'distinctive' audience; just folks who like to read.

~dances-with-penciles Feb 17, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

thats good to know Ill keep you posted on that publishing offer I want to think on it

~jochannon Feb 17, 2012

Of course. Take your time.

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